Sadness as a mantle covered me this morning.
Birds were singing, the sun was shining, the sky was blue,
My heart, though, was heavy.
Locked down in my room, enclosed in my thoughts, fearful in my heart:
for me, for them, for those afar and for those just nearby;
and for the loved face I see only on my phone.
Grief as a cloud came on me this morning.
Working – I could not.
Playing – I didn’t want to.
Making a phone-call – I dreaded a lot.
Watching the news – I was fed up.
Crying – I could and heart wanted to.
I gave myself leave to cry alone,
to let a quiet river of tears wash my sadness away.
I cried before You, who sees, who knows, who understands.
I cried and said your name: “Jesus”, “My God”, “My Saviour”.
I cried and I listened in the silence to the echo of my tears in your Heart.
You came into my sadness and You comforted me.
You came under my cloud and You cried with me.
You visited my heart and I was alone no more.
You touched my soul and I let hope rise again.
By Father Xavier, Quarr Abbey
